1) When I got on the plane, the flight attendant was standing next to a guitar.
Me: Are you going to play for us later?
Flight Attendant: Yes, I sing and dance.
Me: I can't wait.
Flight Attendant: You should wait. I'd be terrible. Hey, remember that scene from the movie Airplane?
People behind me: Yeah, that was really funny.
Me: Please don't mention that movie right now!
2) Trying to get into the aisle.
Me, to no one in particular: How did so many people get into their seats up front here if they are in an earlier group number?
Guy ahead of me: They lied.
Me: Well, the liars took all our overhead space.
3) In the Madrid airport, going through passport control, everyone was on the European Union side except for me and a tour group of retirees.
Me: What tour is this?
Tour Guide: It's called Bible Lands Adventures. We're going to Venice, Israel, Egypt, and Athens.
Me: Venice is in the Bible?
Tour Guide: No, that's where the boats are.
4) No staff in the Madrid airport spoke English, and most of them were pretty rude. The security guard for the luggage lockers was downright scary. I did find one person who spoke English.
Me: Do you know what time the airport Tourist Information Desk opens?
Guy: In an hour, at 9am.
Me: Is there anywhere to get something to drink or eat?
Guy: Yes, but you won't be able to get back to the Tourist office if you do.
Me: Not even somewhere to get something to drink?
Guy: No, it's not like in the States where the airports have a lot of food inside.Where are you from?
Me: New York.
Guy: New York! Do you like Blue Oyster Cult?
Me: I guess.
Guy: I saw them at the Madison Square Garden.
Me: Oh, okay.
Guy: And Deep Purple. You like Deep Purple?
Me: Um....
Guy: Doesn't Cyndi Lauper live in New York?
Me: I think so.
Guy: And Paul Simon?
Me: Yes.
Guy: He signed my CD. He's very nice.
Me: That was nice of him.
Guy: Who else lives in New York?
Me. Lots of people. Thanks for your help. What is your name?
Guy: Marcos.
Me: I'm Barbara.
Marcos: Like Barbra Steisand!
Me: Yes.
Guy: Is she still alive?
Me: Yes, she's still alive!
Marcos: Doesn't she live in New York?
Me: I think so.
Marcos: Is there going to be a mosque?
Me: What? Oh. We're not sure.
This has me laughing. That's a good thing because I'm at home with a cold and resting. Laughter is the best medicine.
ReplyDeleteThe interchange with Marco was funny. Did you get something to eat? Pat is nursing her cold with some Pomagranate juice now....based on one of your recommendations!
ReplyDeletePomegranate juice is the cure-all. I swear by it now that I have seen it work wonders!
ReplyDelete